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WEDDINGS
If you’re considering getting married , firstly our congratulations on
taking this step. Secondly, if you are considering marrying in any of the four
Church of England churches in Hitchin (Holy Saviour, St Faith’s, St Mark’s, or
St Mary’s) you might find the following information useful.
In October 2008 the rules on who could get married in a particular church
were relaxed, but a couple, or one part of a couple, still has to demonstrate
what is known as a ‘Qualifying Connection’ to a particular church in order to be
married there.
If you currently live within Hitchin you can get married in any of the
four churches mentioned above.
If you attend any of the four churches mentioned above on a regular
basis, but live outside Hitchin, you may also qualify to get married in any of
the four churches.
If neither of the above apply to you, you will have to demonstrate a
Qualifying Connection with the parish. A person has a Qualifying Connection
with a parish if:
That person:
·
was baptised in the parish. (This does not apply where the
baptism formed part of a combined service of baptism or confirmation); or
·
had his or her confirmation entered in a church register book
of a church or chapel in the parish; or
·
has at any time had his or her usual place of residence in
the parish for at least 6 months; or
·
has at any time habitually attended public worship in the
parish for at least 6 months;
or a Parent of
that person has at any time during that person’s lifetime:
·
had his or her usual place of residence in the parish for at
least 6 months; or
·
habitually attended public worship in the parish for at least
6 months;
or a Parent or
Grandparent of that person was married in the parish.
The whole of Hitchin is one ‘parish’, with four churches within it.
Therefore, if you are able to demonstrate a Qualifying Connection with any of
the four churches above you would be able to marry in any of the four churches
e.g. if you were baptised in St Mark’s, you could choose to get married at St
Mary’s.
If either yourself or your partner have been married before and the
marriage ended in divorce, we may well offer to marry you in church under
certain circumstances. To find out more about this please contact one of the
Team Vicars via the Parish Office (see below for details).
If you would like to make an enquiry about getting
married in Holy Saviour, St Faith’s, St Mark’s or St Mary’s, in the first
instance please contact the Parish Office tel: 01462 452758 or email:
administrator@hitchinparishoffice.fsnet.co.uk. You
will then be directed to an appropriate member of the clergy who will meet with
you and discuss your wedding plans and any questions you may have.
Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions about whether
you would have a Qualifying Connection or any other questions about getting
married in church.
Once you’ve booked
the wedding date , what’s next…...?
In the
next two weeks you need to send a non-refundable deposit of £50 to Mrs Dorothy
Grieves, Church House, Churchyard, Hitchin, Herts, SG5 1HP. (Cheques made
payable to St Mary’s District Church Council). This deposit will secure
the church booking.
If you have
booked your wedding well in advance of the date you can now sit back for a few
months!
In the 6
months before your wedding you will need to begin to think about a number of
details:-
Preparation
The vicar
taking your wedding will wish to meet with you to talk through the service and
in particular the meaning of the vows. If you haven’t heard from the vicar by 6
months before your wedding please contact them.
Banns
Most
people are married following the calling of banns. This is when your
forthcoming marriage is
publicly
announced during church services for 3 weeks.
The
banns will be called in the church of the district in which you live. The vicar
conducting your marriage will be able to tell you when your banns will be called
and in which church. It is good preparation for your wedding day to try and be
present when your banns are called. If one of you lives outside Hitchin, you
will need to have your banns called in your local church. The vicar conducting
your marriage can give you advice about this.
In
some cases you may need to apply for a special licence and the vicar will have
advised you of this at your first meeting.
 Music
Music
can play a very big part in a wedding and so spending some time thinking about
what type of music you’d like is important. It’s a good idea to have the organ
played and you need to decide whether you would like the choir to help with the
singing.
Once
these things are settled you need to decide on a piece of music for the bride to
come in to, up to three hymns during the service, a piece of music to be played
or sung during the signing of the registers, and the piece of music you want to
walk down the aisle to at the end of the service. There are a number of things
which can help you in this task.
Firstly, here is a suggestion
list of the most commonly used music at weddings. Secondly, there are a
number of CDs available containing a selection of popular wedding music.
Thirdly, if you have access to the internet there are a number of sites which
give you samples of wedding music (eg.
www.foreverwed.com/music). Finally, twice a year the organist at St Mary’s
holds an evening for everyone being married in St Mary’s during which he will
play through some of the more commonly used wedding music. If you would like to
attend one of these evenings, dates are available from Church House (Tel: 01462
452758).
However you decide on the music, please ask the vicar for advice before making
final decisions, but we would appreciate 3 months notice in order to ensure the
availability of the relevant musicians.
 Flowers
St
Mary’s has its own flower arrangers trained to a high standard who will be
responsible for the floral displays at your wedding. These may include two
pedestals, one at the front of the pulpit, beside the High Altar and an
arrangement at the base of the Baptismal font.
Where
more than one wedding takes place on the same day colours are selected to suit
all occasions and the cost of the flowers is shared.
The
person in charge of flower arranging is Mrs Margaret Khinmaung, and you can
contact her via Church House.
 Orders
of Service
You
may wish to consider whether you would like to have orders of service printed.
If you are proposing to do these yourselves or getting them printed by a firm
please show a draft to the vicar taking your wedding before getting hundreds
printed!
Church House also offers a printing service at 50p per order of service. There
is a draft version available on contacting Mrs Grieves. She needs to receive
your form at least six weeks before your wedding. Here is a
suggestion list of Biblical
readings
 Videos
and photography
Inevitably you will want some record of your wedding day and possibly of the
service itself. If you wish to have someone video the service, one video camera
is allowed and, because of the musicians, there is a copyright fee to pay.
It is not permitted for others to video the service. Please advise your ushers
of this.
We ask
people to refrain from taking photos during the service itself, as camera
flashes going off as you say your vows becomes very distracting. It might be
possible for one or two photographs to be taken by your official photographer,
without the use of flash, but this is by negotiation with the vicar taking your
wedding.
Fees
The
dreaded question of money! Please remember the simpler you make your wedding,
the less it costs! The current cost of the bells, choir etc are available from
Mrs Grieves. Approximately 2 months before your wedding you will receive an
invoice for the cost of the service, minus your £50 deposit. The final payment
needs to be made by 6 weeks before the wedding.
In the few weeks before
the wedding you will need to sort out the remaining practical details, namely:-
 Cars
As
anyone who has been to St Mary’s will appreciate, there is difficulty getting
cars right up to the church and there is limited parking once there. For this
reason we ask that only official wedding cars enter the Church Yard or vehicles
for severely disabled guests.
Between 10.00am and 4.00pm there is a barrier which you will need to get through
in order to drive down the High Street. The church has permits for this barrier
which we will give you at the wedding rehearsal in return for a £10 deposit for
each permit. Your deposit will be returned when you return the permits.
Rehearsal
A few
weeks before your wedding you will need to arrange, with your vicar, a date for
a rehearsal in the days prior to your wedding. This usually takes roughly three
quarters of an hour and is a walk through of the service. This means that it is
helpful to have your bridesmaids, best man, the person who is giving the bride
away, and anyone else involved in the service present at the rehearsal.
If
any of the above information isn’t clear or you have any other questions about
what happens for any aspect of the service or arrangements, do feel free to
contact the vicar taking your wedding. We’re here to try and make your wedding
day the best start we can for your married life together.
Rev
Michael Roden Rev Jane Mainwaring
Tel: 01462 452758 or 434017 Tel: 01462
434686
stmaryhitchin@yahoo.co.uk
jane@stmarks-hitchin.org.uk
Rev
Charmaine Sabey-Corkindale
Tel:
01462 435497
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